


Space & Delay

by kizaten



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 19:44:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8909569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kizaten/pseuds/kizaten
Summary: Realisation, confusion and hope. Haru realises he's in love in the worst of the situations: four thousand miles away from the one he loves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tye/gifts).



> Merry Christmas!  
> I decided not to put the time this takes place so it could fit any situation, though the season and reason why I wrote is certainly a pretty sweet and romantic trope.  
> I hope you can find the romance you requested for and that you finish reading with a smile on your face.  
> I hope you enjoy it!!

Distance had been always in between. Since the moment he met him until now, he had to bare the long lapses of time between their meetings. It was hard, annoying, but he had no option and now… it kind of hurt. He wasn’t ready to recognize why but the week he had to wait to see him at joint practice during high school bit by bit begun to trouble him more and more, so the days when he knew he couldn’t see him.

 

Of course it got worse when he moved back to Australia.

 

Haru wasn’t really someone who considered himself as a sentimental person and still, here he was missing Rin’s bright and powerful smile.

Matsuoka Rin made a mess of him each time they met, he had this ability to change his life as he wanted and nothing could feel the same after him. It happened the first time they met, and after that single race that broke their relation once of course he wasn’t the same. This last time, once they graduated, he thought he’d be able to stand it.

 

“I'll be racing a lot, we might met then so work hard, hu?” Rin told him they day they graduated.

It was the same Rin that said prideful and confident that he’d go to Australia before, the same gentle Rin that admitted he admired him on that fountain in Sidney, still, he seemed to be a bit embarrassed of these words.

 

Red faced Rin, teary eyed Rin.

 

Haru could only nod, his lips were sealed and his eyes fixed on him. He didn’t know how to reply to that. He only wished for the same things to Rin. Race, meet…

 

But, how long would it take?

 

Haru wouldn’t admit it, but it really hurt the day he saw him turn his back and cross the airport’s departing flights gate.

 

And so, another change Rin did on him was to finally pull him to XXI century. He wanted to see him so much that he’d have to bear with learning a couple of things.

He had to learn to use the email box properly, to sign in a couple of social media things so he could see his pictures or accede to try and get a webcam and microphone to have a chat that could feel more like before, face to face even when he hated cameras pointing at his face.

 

Distance was even more hateful.

 

Bit by bit he got used to this, he got happy to see him appear on the side of his laptop’s screen, or the time line of social media. Happy Rin, the smiling red haired he had missed for years and until now.

 

Distance had always been there. He had been missing him for a very long time, still, he wasn’t used to the lack of him.

 

Haru had things to do, it wasn’t like he had that much time to just sit down and think of him and so, along with Rin’s busy schedule, the chances the had to talk went shrinking, though his need kept growing.

Haru missed Rin more and more… In a way he’d have to name sooner or later.

 

Accepting that without him wasn’t something he wanted.

 

After practice, Haru went back to his apartment, welcomed by a buzzing he knew very well. He dropped his stuff and rushed to take his phone out of his pocket, eagerly to find Rin related to whatever that had made it buzz, gladly, he did.

 

**[Text: Rin] Text me once you’re back. Skype?**

 

Haru wasn’t that good to write texts, he was very slow and would always end up annoyed by the predictions of the keyboard as he tried to write. Still, Rin had asked for it and he couldn’t let him down. Just a simple “I’m home” would make it, he wanted to believe.

Struggling with the tinny keys of the touchscreen, Haru made his way to his bedroom, dropping himself in bed as he finally typed the last character before sending Rin the text he requested. Now he only had to wait, he hoped it wouldn’t take long.

He kept his eyes on his phone, focusing on it so he wouldn’t miss a single second if Rin called. He then thought on the second request of his friend. Haru had to stand up and lazily turned his laptop on. Rin would call him to skype, right?

And so, his phone started to buzz again, making him crawl his way back to where he dropped it, surprising him with the message of a caller requesting for him to turn on the camera. One thing about being this bad with tech was how easy it was to forget… Skype could also work on his phone.

He took a breath as he looked at Rin’s picture in the caller’s ID on the screen. He wanted to see him so badly and yet, he was always this nervous whenever he called.

 

With a tap on the screen, he picked it up.

 

“Haru!” Rin’s smile greeted him brightly. “I was afraid you wouldn’t answer…. Sorry, were you busy?”

Haru greeted silently with his hand and shook his head as Rin spoke. He was doing nothing but waiting for him to contact with him. Still, he couldn’t say that.

 

 _I should tell him,_ he kept thinking, but it was impossible to do it like this. This wasn’t something he could just say to a screen in a room all by himself.

 

And definitely not the way to start a conversation.

 

“I’m glad to see you, it had been a long since the last time I could call you like this, I’m sorry.” Rin said rubbing the back of his head and making the wire of the headphones fall. He had to struggle a bit to put it back but still focused on looking at Haru.

“It’s all right.” Haru lied. “I know you’ve been busy. Saw it online.”

He couldn’t remember in which media he’d see which thing so he used to phrase it like that, making Rin chuckle a little bit. They weren’t famous, their names weren’t at any single championship outside Japan or Australia yet, but they were making their way up bit by bit, and with these media things it was easier, at least for Rin.

“I saw you too. Congratulations, you’re really good” Rin said teasingly.

Haru wasn’t really updating his timeline but he was constantly tagged by his team mates or Rin himself, making his name and image be around without him having to make an effort. In fact, it wasn’t something he liked that much, better to say he didn’t.

“How are you doing?” Haru asked, wanting to make Rin speak more so he could just get comfy and listen, though it seemed like the red head had different plans.

He saw him move again, his hand restlessly messing with his hair and the headphones’ wire.

“I… Haru I actually don’t have much time.” He said with a sigh. “I only wanted to call you so I could tell you something, I felt like texting about this wasn’t a good idea but…”

Haru felt his heart trip. He felt nervous, what if the thing Rin didn’t feel like texting about was the same he didn’t feel like phrasing out loud himself?

“If it’s hard to say it, then don’t tell me.”

“No.” Rin replied, annoyed. He took a deep breath and faced forward again, his eyes fixed on the screen as though he could see Haru’s directly like before. “It’s not hard, Haru, I just… Doesn’t matter. I’m going back to Japan in about 2 weeks. I’m staying for a month and I just wanted to let you know so you could try and find some time, at least one day so we could meet.”

Haru kept quiet, surprised. It’s a good thing that Rin decided to come back, it’s also a pretty good thing that he wanted a day to see him and that’s exactly why he couldn’t help but being this utterly nervous.

“Just think about it and tell me when you’re free,” Rin kept talking after a while, shaking off the strange silence that had them both this embarrassed. “I plan on going to Iwatobi afterwards so I can visit my mother so… It’s fine, just tell me so I can program my time. The train, whatever…”

Haru could only nod. It would be better if Rin decided, he thought, so he could just ask for that day he wanted. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to suggest it. He just couldn’t speak, he was afraid of what he’d say.

 

It was as though if he’d ever speak his feelings would come out instead.

 

That wasn’t good. Not now at least.

 

“Anyway, I’m sorry Haru, I have to go now…” Rin said and waved to him with a sad expression. A blink later he wasn’t on his screen any longer.

 

Needless to say he felt stupid.

 

Sighing, he closed his eyes and let the phone slide from his hand.

Would he feel like this each time he’d see him?

They could talk before, even when he started to feel like this towards him but after this… was he going to be like this all the time?

Maybe he would, it was the first time he felt like this and it was so confusing he didn’t know why it was so hard to just be the same as always. If he enjoyed being with him and talking to him so much, why couldn’t he just do It without this messing with it like this.

 

 _I have to tell him_ , he thought, _otherwise we won’t be able to speak again._

 

Distance was enough of a problem all the time, he couldn’t allow himself to make space between them get wider too with his nervousness.

 

But… How to do it?

 

Haru knew nothing about such thing as confessing one’s feelings. He never had the chance to be some girl’s love interest so he had never heard a confession, since he wasn’t so fond of lovey-dovey romantic movies his only reference were his friends.

He had talked about this with Makoto, once or twice, but he wasn’t interested before and now he was regretting not paying enough attention to remember any detail of that. And thinking on how romantic Rin was there must be something very specific he’d like to hear or happen on a confession.

How would Rin feel about him doing it?

He didn’t feel like asking about this at all, he thought he could do it by himself, research and decide but at the end he’d have to research and look for things he had never imagined he had to, things that weren’t his thing at all and that of course he wouldn’t be able to choose by himself: Romantic movies.

Having a very specific thing on mind, he had to select properly which movies he’d inspire with and, even when he promised himself this would be a secret, he needed to know which Rin’s favourite movies were. Since he couldn’t ask him directly he had no other option but asking for someone else’s help.

 

“That’s unusual of you, Haruka-senpai,” the younger Matsuoka said when he asked for her time. “But I’m glad to hear that! We could see them together”

Of course, he hoped she’d know some of Rin’s likes. Maybe he could get an idea with this. And so, after several cheesy and very similar movies, he had some clue of how to proceed.  The only bad thing was all the time he’d lost doing this.

 

 

**[Text: Rin] Tomorrow. Narita. 6:00 pm more or less.**

 

 

Rin let him know, he’d have to be ready due that time. He was nervous, especially after how cold it felt to read that.


	2. Chapter 2

Had  it been a bad thing to hang up so fast last time?

Haru was just as busy as he was, Rin thought, he was also pretty bad with tech and that things that were so important to keep in touch but still felt bad not to hear a thing from him after that.

Not even a text. Neither a phone call. Not a single sign of life from him at all.

 

 _He is busy_ , he kept thinking. Truth was, he wanted to calm down.

 

What if he was mad at him?

The last thing Rin wanted was to lose him, for Haru to be mad at him but after this new kind of distance staining their communication he couldn’t help but find himself thinking that. And it had been just a couple of weeks.

 

What if Haru was tired of him?

 

He couldn’t remember how many times Haru called or texted first, as far as he could tell, it had been him all the time. The pictures, the messages, the video calls, it was always Rin trying. Haru didn’t seem to want to at all…

Last time he didn’t even say a single word…

 

Maybe…

 

Was he being pushy? Was he annoying? Haru used to think that back when they first met, he told him, but now…?

He decided on waiting, maybe Haru would contact him or miss him… But nothing happened, making him feel really uneasy about visiting him after all.

 

Was it really ok to do it with things like they were?

 

Things got worse when he got news of him from someone else. His little sister had been with him, speaking of romance with him during all those days in which he didn’t hear a thing from him. Haru didn’t try to contact him but he got closer to his sister to see romantic movies with her…

 

It hurt. It _really_ hurt.

 

He had been so excited about seeing him again before… Now he was really scared.

 

Haru and Gou. Was it like that? For real? He didn’t like it but… He couldn’t think on something different.

He wanted to be a good friend. He had to be a good brother. He wanted Gou to be happy, he wanted Haru to be happy and he wanted to be happy himself but… How could he be happy when his own sister seemed to be stealing his happiness from him?

 

He let him know which time he’d be arriving to Tokyo and even when he really wanted to see him first, he was also ready to have to take the train by himself if Haru didn’t show up. Why would he?

 

 

It had been a tiring and long flight, and even more after all the time he had to think on bad things. Haru and his sister, Haru not wanting to talk to him. Haru leaving him there by himself.

Rin sighed, pulling the strap of his back pack up to his shoulder and stretching to go and get the rest of his stuff on the baggage claim. Once he had it all with him, Rin walked out of the arrivals gate. And just as surprised as he was to be there on time, he was surprised of finding a certain black haired guy waiting for him.

His heart jumped inside his chest, Haru wasn’t looking at him but there was no doubt it was him, he looked around as though he was distracted, Rin held on to his suitcase’s handler and speed up, crossing the door straight to where he was.

“Haru!” He called only to make him turn and be aware of his presence before letting go of his stuff and jumping to his arms. Luckily, Haru held on to him instinctively and neither of them fell off.

 

Rin forgot everything he was thinking before seeing him. He was just so happy to see him there; he could just focus on this, being the first familiar face he’d see today. He squeezed him, swung a bit and giggled as he told him how happy he was to finally be back, and by the time he finally allowed himself to stay still he couldn’t bring himself to let go of him.

 

“Let’s go, I have to take Makoto’s car back,” said Haru, the same natural tone Rin could remember.

“You drive?” He asked, teasingly and happily surprised. Haru just shrugged and showed the keys. That was really convenient, meaning he wouldn’t have to get into a cramped train or take a taxi, which could also make his wallet feel less pressured.

He just nodded and let go, focusing on taking his stuff back, until Haru offered to help him. Rin was as talkative as always, following Haru through the airport to make it to the parking to look for the car. Only when he took a look at his friend’s face, all his worries came back.

 

Haru was silent, he had always been, but his face was strangely calm today. As though he was done of this, they had been together for just a few minutes and he seemed just to be just to get over with this.

He felt his legs moving slower than before until he stopped, Haru kept walking some steps away from him until he seemed to notice he wasn’t following anymore, turning to face Rin.

 

“Rin?” He called for him, wanting some kind of explanation. It was Rin the one who needed them the most. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just tired,” he avoided any other question, looking around to find a bench or a place to just take a break.

 

Haru seemed to go with it, quickly finding a seat and getting closer there. He let Rin sit down and then went to get him a drink from a vending machine. Rin tried to calm down while he was away, maybe it was all in his head, Haru had been always a bit reserved and rarely talked.

 

That he rarely talked to him was the thing that bugged him the most.

 

He thought things would change with this, he hoped that he’d be able to show some interest or that he was happy to see him but nothing of that came. It felt like he was making this because of something else…

 

“Here”

Rin blinked and looked up, Haru was in front of him handing a drink. Rin took it, thanking weakly and opening it. He drank it down without second thoughts. Haru was in front of him but didn’t look at him at all.

 

Why? Why when they were this close to each other Haru was still looking away from him? Why did distance felt so strong when they were just a few inches from each other? And so, right there before his mind could tell what he was doing, his hand moved up to where Haru’s was, only when he called him Rin could wake up and stop himself.

 

“Need help?” Haru asked offering his hand for him to take it. Rin just blinked and moved his away before standing up by himself.

“I’m fine. Let’s go.”

 

 

The way to the car was silent without him talking. Not a single word came from Haru.

 

 

“Is everything all right?” Rin asked once they left the parking lot behind and were now about to get into the highway. “You’ve been strange since I arrived…”

“It’s nothing” Haru replied with monotony looking forward.

Rin just frowned but didn’t push it. He still hoped Haru would feel like speaking, though he’d been waiting that for years and nothing happened.

“Rin…” After what felt like an eternity, Haru decided to speak. “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

Before he could reply, he saw on the card’s board Haru’s phone’s screen light up with a message. Gou’s name on the sender’s ID.

 

Rin got mad.

 

“You know what? I already know what you want to say,” He said harshly.

Haru looked to him for a second and his expression was something he had rarely seen on him.

 

“You know it?”

“I do.”

Haru kept quiet, Rin was only getting more and more uneasy. Haru’s phone buzzed again, he kept on ignoring it.

“How did you know it?” Haru’s voice asked, nervous.

“Oh please Haru! It is just too obvious for you to try and hide it from me! Of course I’d know this kind of things!”

 

Haru kept quiet again, the more annoyed Rin got, Haru seemed to get more nervous, maybe even scared.

“What do you think?”

“What do I think!” Rin asked, he couldn’t be real! “Haru how do you think I feel? Of all the things you could do, of all the people you could be interested on you had to do this! And that’s not even the worst part, how couldn’t you tell me before!”

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not just mad, Haru! How could you do this!”

“You hate it?”

“What?”

 

Rin was confused. He didn’t like the idea of Gou being with Haru in what he thought they were, because of the way he felt towards him but… It wasn’t like he hated it. It hurt him, yes, it felt like he had been betrayed but he couldn’t do a thing about it, right? It was their decision; it wasn’t like he had told any of them how he felt or that it would break him but… Hating it was just too much.

 

“You’re disgusted, I’m sorry.”Haru said, and his voice started to shake. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like this. I just… I can explain I, I didn’t mean to, I mean- I just feel like this and I couldn’t help it but… You’re right, I should have told you sooner but I was just too scared of this and I didn’t know how and now you’re sick of me. I’m sorry Rin, but I can’t help it. I couldn’t stop thinking on it and now… It was all because of you…”

“Me?” Rin asked, Haru was stuttering too much and was making things feel stranger. He felt lost. “What do I have to do on this?”

“Everything of course…”

“What? Why?”

“Well…”

“It is my sister of who were talking about here!” Rin finally said, mad again.

“Gou?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Why! Haru why are you asking me why! Because of you two! Just… Just tell me the truth, do you love her?”

“What? Rin I-“

“Do you love her?”

“No, Rin I-“

“Stop the car!” Rin interrupted him.

“What?”

“Stop it!”

 

Haru had no option but to move over to the side of the road, and before he could try and explain anything else, Rin was taking off the security belt and getting off the car.

 

“Rin wait!” Haru tried to make him stop, but he was already opening the back seat’s door to get his luggage off. The driver had to get off as well and walk around to car to try and stop him. Rin kept pushing him to get away.

It was dark, there were no walkers around besides the mad red haired pushing off Haru as they got away from the car they left behind. He turned to a street that connected to the road they were following before, trying to make Haru go away.

 

“Rin, please, where are you going?” Haru kept calling for him, bit by bit getting closer. Rin was so mad he couldn’t keep up his pace and Haru soon reached to pull his arm. “Stop!”

“Let me go!”

“Where will you go?”

“I don’t know! I’ll find a hotel!”

“Rin, please let me explain.”

“Explain what? That you’re dating my sister and you don’t even love her?” Rin exploded, turning to just throw it on him. “Haru this is not only because of you playing with her, which of course I can’t tolerate. And yes, I’m sick of it and maybe I do hate it too, but the worst part is that I’ll have to stand it! Having you two together while I’m alone, watching at you being with someone else!”

 

Haru kept on pulling him, trying to call him and make him shut up as he spoke and pushed him. He stopped him, holding both of his wrists and pulling him closer. Before he could complain or fight again, Haru had pressed his lips together with a kiss.

 

A kiss.

 

He couldn’t fight anymore, he felt weak, his hand let go of the back pack and it fell to the floor with a thud.

Haru moved away, it had been just a simple kiss, just his lips touching his and miraculously not hitting him, and it felt… Incredible.

Haru sighed, letting go of his wrists and holding him against his chest, putting his arms around him. Rin didn’t move. 

 

“I’m not dating anyone…” He said softly. Rin could felt his arms shaking, maybe Haru was just as scared as he had been before, though it was because of different things.

“You’re not?” Rin heard his own voice ask, not only calmer but softer, weaker.

Haru shook his head and squeezed him softly, silent as always. Rin kept quiet, just listening to the high speed of the air on the highway not so far from them. The only lights were the cars as they passed by, and so the lights of the one Haru drove them there, which wasn’t that close to them. Luckily, Rin thought, so Haru couldn’t see how ridiculous his expression was, though he was holding him so tightly and close he couldn’t see him anyway.

 

“I love you, Rin.”

 

“Oh God…” He heard his voice whisper as his legs felt even weaker. He had to move his arms and hold on to Haru, but they also moved slower than planed and his fingers lazily held to his jacket.

 

Haru loved him. He kissed him and said that after he tried to escape from him in the middle of nowhere.

 

“I’m so stupid!” Rin scolded himself, his throat was tied and he felt his eyes burn. How could this be possible? How could he get something this good after acting to in such a clumsy and crazy way? Why was his first love offering his first confession and stealing his first kiss like this? Why was Haru making all this emotions touch the highest levels all the time?

Haru moved back a bit, only to be able to be face to face with him, even when Rin was trying to hide the image he offered, about to cry pathetically. Haru cupped his face, Rin kept holding on to the fabric covering his back.

“I really thought you were tired of me,” Rin whispered his fears hiccuping a bit as he finally gave up. “I… I thought I was annoying you, that you didn’t want to talk to me anymore and that I was forcing myself on you. You never called and rarely spoke to me. I waited instead for you to call whenever you felt like but you didn’t, not even once. I thought you didn’t want to stay in touch anymore. I thought I was nothing to you…”

“Of course not, Rin…” Haru tried to calm him down as he blabbed, rubbing his cheeks and trying to make him look up but it was useless. At the end, the only thing he could do was hold him, bringing him closer to his chest to hug him. “I wanted to tell you that, but I didn’t know how to.”

“And I even thought you were dating Gou!”

“I wouldn’t.”

“I… Why not? Why me?”

“Because you are you.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Maybe. I don’t care.”

“Oh god…”

 

Haru just sighed, he sounded calm. Rin held on to him like this a little longer before finally moving back, wiping tears from his face with the back of his hand.

 

Haru held his free hand as soon as he had the chance to. “Let’s go back… I need to take the car back to Makoto.”

Rin nodded silently. After taking Rin’s stuff back to the back seat, they got in again so they could resume their way to Haru’s place. Still, Rin felt like this wasn’t over yet.

He sat and waited for Haru to start the car and lock the doors, but before he could step the gas, he moved to hold him in his arms. Rin managed to pull him closer and kiss him. His kiss was just as innocent and inexperienced as Haru’s, and it meant just as much to him. Rin just let his lips slot in Haru’s naturally, not daring to move further since he didn’t knew how to, the only thing he wanted was to let Haru know he also wanted this and that he had been doing it for a very long time.

 

During the rest of the ride, he could only hold on to the seat belt with one hand and the other occasionally reaching for Haru’s as he handled the gear shift, along with glances and a long lasting smile in his face. It was impressing how Haru managed to make him cry and smile like this all the time, he just adored it.

And he didn’t even get bothered when they left the, not even after the long flight he just got off not so long ago. He was all right to walk with Haru to his apartment from Makoto’s, as long as he could hold his hand and laugh naturally. To tell him how happy he was to see him.

He was impressed to hear the reason why the black haired swimmer had been hanging out with his little sister, it was something actually cute that Haru thought on making things like that at first, even when he messed it up at the end. He was touched and curious. He liked how things ended up, he got to know Haru’s feelings and speak his own after all, though he still felt like he needed to know what Haru had thought after all those movies…

 

Rin thought it would be better not to ask now, the only thing he wanted was to have some rest. As soon as they were at Haru’s apartment he’d pull him to bed and try to recover from jetlag with him in his arms.

 

 

 

 


End file.
